For Joe Speer Two Days After His Death

if i believed in such things
i’d have known the vision meant you were fine
visiting me     no     interrupting reveries
as a large yellow dog on a red sandy cliff
staring at me in what might have been anger
two nights after you’d died in albuquerque

i felt the anger     then my own shock
and confusion after feeling both
if i’d opened my eyes i’m sure i’d have seen you
right across the room
then i felt the love     and the hurt
as you stood more solid than dream
then faded to the color
of the insides of my eyelids

	the hillside on which you stood
	was neither california nor new mexico
	the land was wild     but land is wild
	belief is wild and it’s scary to be so tame
	that you don’t believe anymore
		did you visit me after you’d died?
		were you making the rounds
		of all your old friends?
	i think that you’ll be a happy dog
        or maybe      untame     a happy coyote

from Amateur Mythology (2017)