For Joe Speer Two Days After His Death

if i believed in such things
i'd have known the vision meant you were fine
visiting me     no     interrupting reveries
as a large yellow dog on a red sandy cliff
staring at me in what might have been anger
two nights after you'd died in albuquerque

i felt the anger     then my own shock
and confusion after feeling both
if i'd opened my eyes i'm sure i'd have seen you
right across the room
then i felt the love     and the hurt
as you stood more solid than dream
then faded to the color
of the insides of my eyelids

     the hillside on which you stood
     was neither california nor new mexico
     the land was wild     land is wild
     belief is wild and it's scary to be so tame
     that you don't believe anymore
          did you visit me after you'd died?
          were you making the rounds
          of all your old friends?
     i think that you'll be a happy dog
     or maybe     untame     a happy coyote